Why exercising and eating right are so difficult

Dear Daughter,

Pretty soon, you will learn firsthand about the cruelest dichotomy known to man… that the desire to be healthy and thin is less than or, at best, equal to the desire to eat junk food and be inactive.

This is especially true in a country where comfort food commonly coincides with convenience. (That’s alliteration, all those c’s. Who says you can’t learn two lessons in one note?) You can make a full-course meal in 5 minutes, just by putting a dish in a small electric box, pushing some buttons and waiting for it to alert you when it’s ready. And I swear they put heroin in Oreo cookies. Why else would I want to eat the entire pack in one sitting? While watching three hours of Keeping Up With the Kardashians on my DVR?

I’m not sure why God allows for this struggle, but I blame Adam and Eve. They had all the best (organic!) fruits and vegetables at their fingertips, and they had to go and eat the wrong one, causing God to curse the human race with the burden of labor and toil. He was referring to work, of course, but I think exercise falls under that umbrella. You want to be thin and fit? Fine, all you have to do is push your body in uncomfortable positions until you feel like you’re going to explode. You want to be cancer-free? Okay, just don’t eat anything you enjoy EVER AGAIN.

On the other hand, you really don’t want to be overweight, or to feel like a slob. You really don’t want to get cancer and you want to live long enough to see your kids’ kids. So that is the motivation you must depend on when the desire to exercise or eat right is low. It’s not as immediately satisfying as the motivation to eat a cheeseburger, but it’s all you’ve got to go on, so cling to it with all of your might.

Believe it or not, Daughter, your ol’ mom is actually quite passionate about health and fitness. It’s just that lately it’s been a far more mental struggle for me than usual. But because I want to see your kids, I’m trying my hardest to snap out of it and get on the ball again. I plan to fill you in on more health tidbits I learn along the way. In the meantime, please keep the Oreos away from me or I’m going to need rehab.

Love,
Mom

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