Do actions speak louder than words?

Dear Daughter,

As expected, I received quite a bit of feedback on my last letter to you, about how girls shouldn’t swear. (Most of the feedback was given on my Facebook page rather than on the blog post itself.) Lots of people agreed with me but some didn’t, and that’s fine. I expected that because really it’s all a matter of opinion.

One person, though, said something in his comment that perplexed me. He said, “Actions make a person, not words.” Hmm… I get his point but I’m not sure I agree with it 100 percent. What you choose to say or not say is an action in itself. Also, you could do the nicest things for people, but if you say horrible things about them behind their back, then the nice actions have less value, and you end up looking like a two-faced person who can’t be trusted.

Similarly, your actions need to back up your words. J could tell me he loves me all he wants, but if he never does anything to show his love, then after awhile I’ll stop believing him. (This isn’t a problem, by the way. J is definitely an Acts of Service guy.)

It is true that “actions speak louder than words,” as the expression goes, but that doesn’t mean actions are the end-all be-all and words have no value. It doesn’t mean that, as long as your actions are good, you can say whatever you want, whenever you want. Especially because your words are a more tangible expression of who you are. Not everyone will notice your actions right away, but they will hear your words, and what you say will make an immediate impression on them, good or bad.

My point is, you need to be aware that your actions and your speech must line up with one another. One does not define you more than the other. They both need to back each other up. If you say you’re going to do something, then do it. And if your actions portray you as a certain type of person, then your speech needs to reflect that as well. It’s not at all easy, but it is important, in order to maintain integrity and respect.

Love,
Mom

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. ela83
    Nov 09, 2011 @ 07:15:42

    I agree with your statement that “What you choose to say or not say is an action in itself.” Speech is an action translated to words.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts, I really love reading your blogs. By reading them, it makes me less homesick. I’m going home soon and I’m sharing your blogsite to my family.

    Reply

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