What not to wear

Dear Daughter,

So I’m totally stealing the name of this post from the TLC show where two fashion experts help poorly dressed people get a new look. We all love a good makeover story, so this show is kind of addicting.

I’ve written before about how you shouldn’t wear PJs to the final exam and that you shouldn’t leave the house without lipstick and earrings. It’s safe to say that I’m kind of a stickler when it comes to personal appearance. But I think anyone would agree with me that the following items are things people (particularly women) should eliminate from their closets, or at least should not wear in public.

1. Pleated pants. It takes a special woman to pull off pleated pants. If she has a single curve in her waistline, forget about it.

2. Leggings without a dress or long shirt. Leggings are meant to be like tights, not like pants. If we see any part of your derriere while wearing leggings, you’ve gone too far, my friend.

3. A scrunchy. The name itself explains why these hair bands should not be a fashion accessory. Scrunchies were wildly popular in the late ’80s/early ’90s and thankfully are pretty much extinct now. But every once in a while I’ll see a woman wearing one and it makes me cringe. It doesn’t even hold the hair well, so it makes this loose ponytail, all bound by this blob of denim or American flag material.

4. Oversized sweatshirts. I’m not a big fan of the sweatshirt in general, though if it’s the right size and occasion, it could work. Lots of women, however, wear sweatshirts that are too big for them, which does not flatter the figure at all. I can appreciate the desire to be comfortable, but it is possible to do so while wearing something that you don’t swim in. On the other hand…

5. Undersized t-shirts. There are just as many women wearing shirts that are waaay too small and clingy for their frame. You see this in young women especially, who are probably trying to look hot but instead it has the reverse effect, by showing off every roll in their upper body. There is a way to look good without having to squeeze into a tight shirt.

6. Short shorts. I’ve said my piece about this. I’ll say no more.

7. Carhart jackets. These are okay if you’re going out hunting or farming. Not for a trip to the mall.

8. Crocs. Some people might disagree with me on this one, but I’ve never understood why these goofy-looking shoes are so popular. They’re ugly, they have holes in them, and they come in weird colors. I’ll admit it’s kinda cute when little kids wear them but if you’re not 5 years old, the Crocs should be replaced with real shoes.

9. Nightgowns. Obviously these shouldn’t be worn in public but not even at home. They’re frumpy, clumsy and can’t be comfortable to sleep in. Opt for the PJ pants instead. (But don’t wear those outside of the house either!)

And lastly…

10. Tattoos. There, I said it. I don’t like tattoos. Especially on women. I’ll leave it at that.

Love,
Mom

**Disclaimer:** I realize this post comes across as a tad judgmental. It’s just that, women are beautiful creatures. And we should display that beauty in a tasteful but still flattering way. It saddens me when I see a woman wearing something that hinders her true beauty. Get pretty, girls! Dress well, ladies! You’ll look great but more importantly, you’ll feel great!

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